“Well, hello there, how’re you doing?” that was all he said at first
Then he moved a little closer saying, “I think I’m dying of thirst”
I asked him if he’d have a pint but he just shook his head
Then he grinned at me and said, “I think I’ll have a drop instead”
He asked me where I came from as we had a little taste
I told him not too far from there, though I now lived in the States
I said I was a singer and I wasn’t home for long
Did he know anyone who still might a few old songs

He said I’m not much for telling jokes and I never learned to dance
But I could sing the night away if you’d give me half a chance
If I had some lubrication for the muscles in my throat
I’d sing out like a sparrow and I’d never miss a note

So I ordered up another round thinking I had just struck gold
And I asked him if he’d sing a song maybe something kind of old
He said he had a million and a special one for me
He sang “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree”
So I smiled at him, said that was nice, had he any other songs
He suggested that another drop might help his memory on
He asked if I knew Johnny Cash or ever met Tom Jones
Then he sang me forty shades of “The Green Green Grass of Home”

Well I knew I was in trouble but I didn’t want to quit
I thought it still might be worthwhile if I hung in for a bit
But the bar had filled with people who were calling out for more
And when he sang “One Day At a Time, Sweet Jesus”, I had to go
But I still had to wait through one more Willy Nelson song
Then I made a quick escape and said I had to ramble on
If I wanted to hear old songs, well I knew just where to go
I’d hear them back in Boston, playing on the radio

Never Learned to Dance – Green Linnet, GLCD 1124
Words and Music, Robbie O’Connell © 1988
Slievenamon Music (BMI)