43. Hard to Say Goodbye (aka Home Away From Home)

© Robbie O’Connell 1987 Slievenamon Music (BMI)

One summer in the mid 1980s, I was spending a few days in Ring, County Waterford rehearsing with the Clancy Brothers before heading back to the USA for a concert tour. I had joined the group in 1977 usually doing just three tours a year, in March, August and November.

In those days, Mooney’s Pub in Ring was the place for mighty sessions, specially in the summertime. There were picnic tables outside the pub and many a night, when the pub had officially closed, the session continued unabated outside. When the weather permitted, we often went on until we saw the “normal” people off driving to work around seven in the morning.

After one such marathon session, still feeling no pain, I hurried back to Tom Clancy’s house to pack my bags and join him on the drive to Shannon airport to begin a US tour. Tom, a recovered alcoholic, looked at me askance but didn’t offer any criticism or advice, probably knowing what lay ahead for me. We weren’t long on the road when to my surprise, as time was tight, Tom pulled into a tree lined a lay-by in the foothills of the Comeragh Mountains. He got out to walk around and breathe in the cool morning air for a few minutes before we continued. When I joined him, he explained that he always did this to charge his spiritual battery ahead of a long journey; a lovely personal ritual that I greatly admired.

We picked up Paddy and Bobby in Carrick-on-Suir on our way, and continued on to Shannon. It was only a couple of hours drive but, as my hangover kicked in, it began to feel like an eternity. By the time we boarded the flight I was in bits and hoping it didn’t show. I resorted to the hair of the dog remedy to ease my pain and berated myself for not having more sense. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, I began thinking about the millions of Irish who had crossed the Atlantic over the year in search of a better life. I realised how trivial my plight was compared to the distress and hardships they endured. I found a pen and a sick bag and started writing these lyrics.

The original version of the song began with the line, “I didn’t sleep at all last night …” Later I changed it so it would make more sense from a US audience. I had given my great friend and legendary accordion player, Jimmy Keane a tape with the early version, along with another song I wrote about his father, The Man from Connemara. He passed those two songs on to Sean Keane who recorded both of them. In each case, I had rewritten the lyrics for both songs for my Never Learned to Dance CD but Sean’s fine recordings are of the earlier versions.

Years later, Mick Moloney, after a trip home to Ireland said. They’re all singing your songs in Ireland but the folk process is already changing them. He didn’t realise that they were earlier drafts of the songs.

Another odd thing happened. Over the years when Tommy Sands and I would meet, one of the first things we asked each other was what new songs we had written. On one such occasion, we both answered a song called Home Away from Home. Both songs are about the experience of being Irish in a foreign land but Tommy’s lovely song is a more serious take on it. His chorus was Home Away From Home, an obvious title, so I decided to call mine, Hard to Say Goodbye to avoid confusion.

Having a different version of the same song can lead to some confusion. On one occasion, when Sean Keane and I were playing at the same festival, he kindly asked if I would join him on stage to sing Home Away from Home with him. Since there was no time to do a run through, I unfortunately had to decline since I didn’t gave time to make the adjustment to his version. Now that I’m living back in Ireland, maybe I should switch back to the earlier version. Life can be very confusing at times. (Editor’s note: Sean Keane performed the version he does with Daniel O’Donnell in November 2021. Link in footnote.)¹

This live recording is from a concert at The Old Vienna Kaffeehaus in Westboro, Massachusetts. It was an amazing venue that despite its limited capacity hosted many of the legendary folk acts from 1986 to 1996. If you would like to hear the studio version featuring, Johnny Cunningham on fiddle, Jimmy Keane on accordion, and Tom O’Carroll on banjo, here's a LINK.

Lyrics:

HARD TO SAY GOODBYE (aka HOME AWAY FROM HOME)

© Robbie O’Connell 1987 Slievenamon Music (BMI)²

I'd been back home in Ireland just to visit some old friends
But the days had gone by quickly, it was time to leave again
I'd had so many wild nights in the week or two that passed
I was almost glad that this would be the last.
But I didn't sleep at all that night, I stayed up 'til the dawn
Singing songs and playing tunes 'til everyone was gone
By then it was too late for me to go back home to bed
So I opened up another beer instead.

CHORUS
Back across the ocean to my home away from home
Glad to be returning but sad to have to go
I'd like to find a way to be two places at one time
It's easy going back again but it's hard to say goodbye

I had one bag too many just as I was set to leave
I was loaded down with bacon and with sausages and tea
And I couldn't find my ticket as I'm walking out the door
'Til I emptied all my bags out on the floor.
On board the plane I sip a drink while waiting for the meal
Just trying to keep my head from knowing how my stomach feels
There's a baby right behind me making sure that I won't sleep
And the flight's too full to find another seat

And I'm trying to fill out customs forms but I can't find a pen
I'm swearing softly to myself I'll never fly again
There's a woman right in front of me keeps playing with the seat
And someone nearby never washed their feet
But I fall asleep at last just as the plane is touching down
And I age ten years just waiting for the bags to come around
But finally I make it home and I'm barely settled when
I'm already making plans to go again

1. Daniel O’Donnell and Sean Keane sing “Home Away From Home” on the Opry le Daniel show on TG4. The link is to Facebook.

2. PRODUCTION NOTES:
Robbie O’Connell: Vocal and guitar
Produced by: Jimmy Keane
Recorded by: Gerry Putnam
Recorded at: The Old Vienna Kaffehaus, Westboro, MA
Mixed and Mastered at: CedarHouse Sound and
Mastering, New London, NH
Cover Design: Paul O’Connell and Roxanne O’Connell

Production Information for studio version published on Never Learned to Dance:
Robbie O’Connell: Vocals, guitar; Tim Britton: Uilleann pipes, whistles; Johnny Cunningham: Fiddles; Seamus Eagan: Flute; Richard Gates: Bass; Mance Grady; Bodhrán, African drum; Jimmy Keane: Accordion; Billy Novick: Saxophone, clarinet; Tom O’Carroll: Banjo; Roxanne O’Connell: Harmony vocals; Lindsay O’Donovan: Harmony vocals; Brian O’Neill: Keyboards; Ruth Rothstein: French horn; John Sands: Drums
Produced by Johnny Cunningham
Recorded at Wellspring Sound Studio, Nonantum, Massachusetts
Engineers: Huck Bennert, Eric Kilburn